Call to Action 1

I've been thinking about the Beth Moore simulcast more since my last post and have decided to walk through each call to action and link it up with my journey. Really as a test to myself to see if in fact I made spiritual progress.

1. Treasure the wonder--oh how I need to do this. Continue to create a hunger in my heart for your word.

This is really a call to love the Word of God. I can say that I love the Word of God. In the past 2 years I have spent more time actually digging into the word of God than I have in my life. With that said, I still neglect the Word more days than I care to admit. It breaks my heart when I really sit and think of that neglect. What lie am I listening to that could be replaced with truth if only I would more consistently treasure the wonder of God (the Word of God).

That being said as it relates to my journey with miscarriage I have a verse from each that I thought I would share.

First Miscarriage (June 2007) Verse

Psalm 56:8

You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights,

Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.

Second Miscarriage (Dec 2009) Verse

John 9:3

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened

so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

There are many other verses but these two speak the truth that God revealed to me in the midst of each miscarriage.

Treasure the Wonder...Treasure the Word

Mother's Day Kisses from the King

Oh wow...there are times when I sit in awe of how much God cares for me.

Two years ago I attended a Beth Moore simulcast where she spoke on the parable of the sower. Most of us are familiar with this parable about the four different types of soil. I believe that each of us at different times in our lives are all these different types of soil. I'm not sure how to put all this into words so I'm going to start with the history and work to present hoping that along the way I am able to express how awesome our God is and how if we are paying attention and fully engaged in our walk with him he will give us sweet kisses to let us know just how much he loves us and that his beauty is woven into our story. Without him my story would not be beautiful.

OK, so back to the simulcast. Here is my journal entry immediately after. (This was August, 2008 so I was 7 months pregnant with Rylee--just to give you a time reference)

You are an awesome God w/ awesome ways--I am so uncreative next to you even though I continue to try to create my own story instead of allowing you to author each day w/out my lousy input.

Lord--I am so thrilled that I was able to attend the Beth Moore Conference this weekend and I'm holding my hand over my heart to protect the words you spoke to me. I pray that my soil of my life is good for the harvest. But not my harvest--your intended harvest--100 fold.

Write on my heart the seven action steps given this weekend.

1. Treasure the wonder--oh how I need to do this. Continue to create a hunger in my heart for your word.

2. Protect my heart from evil prey--I will guard my heart and not allow Satan to pluck the seeds you have planted for me.

3. Expect the test--The test gets me--Lord teach me to expect it and be prepared--no more pop quizzes!

4. Dig the roots--I am so thankful you have been revealing your love to me--I long for my roots to be deeper.

5. Stop the choke--Man does this get me. I often get distracted by the worries of life. I want to surrender that anxiety and mistrust back to you.

6. Retain the word--Boy does this go back to the basics and still so hard for me to do. Give me the drive, the will & the discipline.

7. Press forth to my 100-fold. Lay on my heart what that is at this point in time so that I might not give up & quit in the middle but press forward.

I honestly think if I went back through each of these action steps I could tie it into my story of miscarriage. But the thing that has me all excited about my God tonight is the idea of protecting my heart from evil prey. Beth gave a great picture of us literally holding our hand over our heart and telling Satan "I received a word from the God of the universe and you will not take that away from me." It was a powerful word and I have thought of that many times in the last two years. Through out that weekend the theme song was Revelation Song. We sang it over and over again. It became my new song with God. (I think I've talked before about having a "song" at different points in my life that speaks deep to my heart and ties my life directly to my worship--not sure that makes sense....it became a meaningful song to me...maybe I should leave it at that) ANYWAY...when I hear that song I am reminded of the message to hold my hand over my heart so that no one can snatch what God has placed in my heart.

So why am I talking about 2 years ago? Well, a couple of weeks ago I spoke at the women's luncheon at our church. I shared my story and shared a small part of what God has shown me in these past several months. As I drove to the church I was thinking about what I was going to share and I began to feel the uncertainty of what I was about to share and how it would be received. I began to think of the opposition that I might meet. At that moment I turned on the radio hoping to get in at least one good worship song before I arrived at the church. God being God gave me Revelation Song. The song that reminded me of exactly what I needed to be reminded of at that moment in time. It was time for me to put my hand over my heart and tell Satan he would NOT take away from me what the Lord himself had given me.

Last night I posted the story of David loosing his infant and his response to go the house of the Lord and worship. This morning I went to the house of the Lord to worship. I thought a lot today about the babies I have in heaven. I am their mommy too--I love them. Someday I will be with them. God has assured me over and over that those babies are safe in his arms. This morning in the midst of worship God himself bent down and gave me the sweetest mother's day gift of our song...Revelation Song. Yes, I was able to worship Jesus knowing that he is worthy. Knowing that He was and is and is to come. Knowing that He is my everything, and I will adore Him. He is who he says he is. He is truth. And since all that is true, one day I will be with him face to face and be reunited with my babies.

By the way...I won't go into much detail but for the sake of remembering just how good God is, I did meet some opposition that day. I was challenged. And at that moment I held my hand over my heart and said, "Nice try Satan but you can't take this from me. Two years ago God's word was planted on good soil, it has taken deep root in me and I know how to protect what God has spoken to me because I know it is from the Lord himself."

What a great mother's day! What a great God!

Happy Mother's Day

As I sit here and think about the celebration of Mother's Day I am so very thankful for many many things.

Thankful for my mom, oh so thankful! My mom has modeled the truest Proverbs 31 woman I know. Don't get me wrong, I know there are many others out there but she is my mom and I call her Blessed.



Thankful for my children. For Gunner who has more life in him than anyone I know. And for Rylee who loves her Mommy, Daddy and "Nunner" and who's smile can light up your day in an instant.




Thankful for the future and hope I have to one day meet my two precious babies who have lived all their days with Jesus. I finished reading Angie Smith's new book I Will Carry You this week and was so encouraged by a scripture she shared. It is the story of David loosing his child.

2 Samuel 12:16-22
16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

18 On the seventh day the child died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate."

19 David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked. "Yes," they replied, "he is dead."

20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

21 His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"

22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows?The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

I will choose to follow David's example and go to the house of the LORD and worship. I will choose to follow David's example and hang on to the future and hope of going to my babies one day.

Happy Mother's Day to all mommies. If you are able to hug your babies this Mother's Day make sure it's what me and Gunner call "one of those hugs that you don't want to let go." If your babies are waiting for you in heaven, go to the house of the LORD and worship. If you have called upon the name of Jesus to be your Lord and Savior you too will go to them someday! What a glorious day!

New Friends at Chick-Fil-A

We had a family dinner at Chick-Fil-A last night and as usual Gunner made a new friend on the playground. The boy Gunner had be-friended was the same size as Gunner but we discovered that he was 6 (his birthday was Feb 27, 2004, at least that's what he told us). So--he was almost 2 full years older than Gunner. They were playing and having great fun. They had made up a game and the 6 year old was enforcing the rules to this made up game and Gunner was apparently breaking them.

So the 6 year old says, "You touched the glass, that doesn't count"
Gunner says, "What? I can count in Spanish. Wanna hear? Uno, dos, tres. See, I can count."
The 6 year old responds, "No that doesn't count. Are you in Pre-K or Kindergarden?"
Gunner says, "What? I'm in Op-pa-homa."
The 6 year old gets super frustrated and asks Gunner several more times if he is in Pre-K or Kindergarden. Ed and I finally feel sorry for the kid and tell him that Gunner isn't old enough to be in Pre-K or Kindergarden.

We were cracking up listening to the conversation. But it reminded me how easy it is to have unreasonable expectations of kids because the look older or seem older than they actually are. At Gunner's 4 year old check up we were told he would not be considered short for a 7 year old. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about his height. Obviously between me and Ed he is probably going to be a tall boy. But for now, it may put him to a disadvantage in the expectation department. It was amazing to hear the difference in vocabulary and understanding from 6 to 4. The next few years are going to be fun! Look out Pre-K Gunner is on his way this fall!

Wordless Wednesday

I was a blogging fool for a couple of weeks and now I am slacking off again! SO to get me back on track I'm going to do a Wordless Wednesday post. Enjoy!

Sorry for the quality of these first pics...they are from my phone.









OK--now that I've picked these pics it is hard to make it wordless... Let's just say Rylee loves wearing Gunner's McQueen hat, she is a great bat girl, she loves to dress up in pretty dresses and bows or spiderman costumes and bows...Gunner has been playing and sleeping hard lately, he too likes to put on his costumes, and he likes my robe but he is very manly in it, oh and he gets really tired of me taking his pictures. I haven't taken many lately so I will break the camera out and get some new ones.